Today, I feel like writing but I have nothing particular in mind. Some ideas are boiling beneath the surface but nothing very concrete. Don’t say I did not give you fair warning, this writing might not be that coherent.
I am a football fan. I am not sure when it happened exactly but I do know that up until the 99 cricket world cup I was not really into football. But things change – they have to. If memory serves me right, I was reluctant to play football at first. My father was the one who came up with the verdict (he lives to give verdicts and implement them) that cricket did not contain enough exercise. Like any good Pakistani worth his salt, I took this accusation very seriously and fought hard but alas, parents have a way of getting what they want – at least mine do. So my general frustration with Pakistani cricket and my father’s insistence on playing football slowly and steadily pushed me towards football.
It was a painful learning experience. Anyone who has played a bit of football knows that if you get a new player to play against, it’s like taking candy from a baby so for a good five years I distributed free candy. Ultimately my persistence paid off and I stopped looking like a complete idiot while playing. Mind you it was still comical but not embarrassing.
During my O and A-Levels I played in a lot of tournaments because of two reasons. One, there were only 11 players in the school. Two, I had mastered the art of not thinking of myself as David Beckham meaning that I stayed back when asked to stay back – which was all the time. Through all of this I kept taking baby steps in the right direction.
During my university, I was able to do the impossible and convert a number of people from cricket to football. The culmination of all my effort was a semi-final appearance and defeating the tournament organizers in the final football tournament I played in FAST. FAST saw me improve the most, simply because there was always a field available to play – well almost always. This is a huge problem in Lahore – you can’t find a decent place to play at. All the good ones cost you money and lets be serious you can’t pay to be playing daily – at least I can’t.
Near the end of my university education, I was invited to a ground in Defense Phase V by a friend. It was beautiful; lush green grass, perfect rectangular shape and empty. I mention all of this because I have played most of my football in dust and stones. Most grounds were triangular or pentagonal or something and all of them were filled with people – lots of people. So this was footballing paradise. I have been playing there to this day which means it has been around two years now. My game has come up in leaps and bounds. It now looks like I know what I am doing when I play football. They still don’t let me play up front but I guess not all of us can be Ronaldo.
Anyways, here comes the real sizzler. A few weeks ago, an ‘uncle’ came to the ground and argued for a good 20 minutes that we should not play here anymore, the reason being that his kid got hit by a football. This incident makes my blood boil on so many different levels that I can’t even begin. First of all, I don’t remember running to daddy every time I got a scratch. Secondly, daddy dearest did not feel the urge to bare his chest and scare away the offenders. Thirdly, people who think they can just come in a bully their way to success. There are a few other choice words I would like to use but let’s continue the story.
The uncle was alone and there were 20 of us so he naturally lost the argument. He had no answer to a simple query, where should we go? How many football fields do you know about? But off course this is Pakistan, the next time we went to play the ‘society-police’ came. No points for guessing who called them. Now a sizeable number of our players live in defense so we are pretty aware of the rules. The rules say that you cannot play in grounds where there is a track or there are children rides. Both of these don’t exist in the ground we play. Also wherever you are not allowed to play there is this big ass board placed to this effect. The society-police person who came looked dumbfounded himself. He kept repeating in his radio. “ these are defense residents, there is no track here and no one else is even present.” We could hear the replies on the walkie talkie and they were profound. “Bas aap band kerwa dein” meaning “Just get it stopped”. That is what I love about this country – common sense does not exist. In fact its singled out and annihilated.
This leads me to another question. What do they want us to do? Without trying to sound too full of myself, we are a group of 20 something year olds who are willing to spend their Saturday and Sunday evenings in a football field. We have been doing that for over 2 years now. All of us could spend this time in a multitude of Café’s and Sheesha lounges that have crept up all over Lahore. Better yet we could be spending this time smoking or indulging in other totally frivolous pursuits so why is it, that us playing football in an empty field is a problem? What do they want us to do?
The thing is my father is a doctor, he doesn’t have “PAWA” so to speak. I can’t call my uncle and ask him to set the Defense Authority straight. Even if I could, why should I? Why isn’t sound reasoning enough to convince someone? Because as the security guard who came to stop us said: “Sir, mein tau apni duty kar raha hoon.” Meaning “Sir, I am just doing my job.” The thing is we understand that, fighting him, arguing with him or insulting him will not solve anything. At worst he might lose his job because he wasn’t able to do what was asked and that is how it goes. Its all about who you know and how high up that person goes.
This reminds me of another thing. A few years ago, our neighbors sold their house. A serving army general bought the house and a few months later served us notice that we were encroaching upon his property. A 5 feet strip in our house belonged to him apparently. What happened was that the previous owners had built our side of the house for their sister so being family not much attention was paid to the exact dimensions. Now it turned out we had 5 feet more. I have no idea what actually happened. There were strong words said and there was a court case but ultimately one day they just smashed our wall down and built a new one 5 feet in. The Cantt. Regulations say that you must have 5 feet between your boundary wall and actual construction so naturally a whole side of the house then had to be reconstructed and what did the General do with those 5 feet. He grew grass on it. I have no words to express to you my anger at this. I mean 5 feet of grass – Aaarghhh . . .
The funny thing is that the General loved his grass and whenever the Cantt Board widened roads, the grass outside his house was never touched. He had to retire ultimately and the next time road construction came around his grass was massacred along with everyone else. Oh I could not wipe the smile of my face for days. But jokes aside that is how our country operates. I always say that we love our grand theories and schemes but these little things tell us much more about who we really are.
An empty ground, a five feet strip of land, the grass outside your house – little things that can give you profound lessons on life.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Pakistan vs India Semi-Final (2011) - My thoughts
These are my thoughts on Pakistan going out of the semi-final. Many people will have many views. These are mine.
At the very beginning of the tournament, if you had told me that Pakistan would lose in the semi-final, I would have gladly taken that. By no stretch of logic or imagination were we among the tournament favorites. The bowling soul had been ripped out of our team. Any team that loses two bowlers of the class of Asif and Amir would struggle. The debate of their innocence is for another time. Just the fact that they were not able to play is being considered and that was a huge blow for Pakistan. In their absence we had an aging and crocked Shoaib Akhtar and a reluctant (to ball a new ball) Umar Gul. Other than that we had Wahab Riaz who despite his performance against India would not have made the team had either Amir or Asif been available.
We had good spinners in Shahid Afridi, Shoaib Ajmal and Abdul Rehman. Even Hafeez bowled well throughout. Our bowling was good but could have been awesome instead. Anyways the batting is where it all went wrong. I heard some commentator say this about Hafeez
“He is the most accomplished and classy 30 making batsmen I have ever seen.”
And that just sums up Mohammad Hafeez. I don’t know if its brain freeze or any other psychological problem but once past 30, he just loses the plot. The shot that he played today to get out was just atrocious. The fact that it was the widest ball Munaf Patel bowled in his whole spell, and Hafeez was trying to paddle/dabble/whatever sweep it is just astounding. Moving on, for five matches we tried Ahmad Shehzad and I have no problem with that. I have always felt that Pakistani selectors don’t give enough chances to batsmen. To cut a long story short he never really looked like doing something. He might become a wonderful batsman one day and maybe the world cup came too early for him but I doubt he would ever have the ability or class of say a Saeed Anwar. In all the years I have watched cricket, Saeed Anwar is the only decent opener I have seen. I am told there were some good ones before him but back then I was kicking it with “you know who” in the heavens.
But I digress; the fact of the matter is we do not possess a world class opener, hell if I am being honest we do not possess a world class batsman in our line up. Before you start baying for my blood please read further. Let’s go back to the openers. We promoted Kamran Akmal and let’s just say he was Ok because I am going to annihilate him later on when I discuss his keeping. One of the bright spots of the tournament has been the discovery of Asad Shafiq. There have been suggestions that we should use him as an opener. I have no opinion on that. That is something for the coaches to decide. I would say this much however that our first preference should be to search for a new opener who has played there his whole life rather than trying to fit players in there ala Kamran Akmal or Asad Shafique.
Let us now move on to the middle order. I am of the opinion that Younis Khan and Misbah-ul-Haq are good batsmen but they are not and will never be world class batsmen. They just do not possess the class or the range of strokes of a Ricky Ponting or an Inzimam-ul-Haq if you want a local example. We needed Younis Khan until we discovered Asad Shafiq but now he must be politely told to either stick to Test cricket or retire altogether. There is the argument that we need stability in the middle order but I might bash your head in if this is the kind of stability that is on offer. To those who are too thick. The stability on offer from Younis Khan is of the kind where you block 20 odd balls and then get out just when it was looking like you were settled.
And now ladies and gentlemen we turn our attention to Misbah-ul-Haq. To say that he lost us the semi-final single handedly would perhaps be too harsh but make no mistake about it he had a huge part to play in it. I don’t care if he scored 56 of 76 in the end or if it is said that his job was always to hold the innings together. At number five, as a specialist batsman you have got to do better. He brought so much pressure on the batsman on the other end that it was impossible to play with him. At least thrice I saw him turn down fairly obvious singles. Keep in mind I am talking about the start of his innings and not the end when he had Saeed Ajmal for company. Anyways he has been a good servant for Pakistan but again he is not a world class player. He just does not have the ability you would expect a number 5 to have. I don’t want to give examples again. You all get the point.
Then we have Umar Akmal. He has plenty of talent and all the qualities required to become a world class player but he is not yet there. Talent and the realization of it are two different matters. I have however a huge problem with him with regards to his behavior whenever Kamran Akmal is threatened to be dropped. Someone needs to sit him down and set his mind very straight and clear about this. He does not play for his elder brother, he plays for Pakistan and if Pakistan is going to achieve something Kamran is not going to be playing. Please wait a little longer for my Kamran Akmal rant.
Moving on to Razzaq and Afridi, now that the tournament is finished (for Pakistan) can someone explain to me why he was in the team? Yes he scored a half century and took some important wickets but it was very clear that Pakistan didn’t really need him. If we had played a specialist batsman in his place, we might have got more runs; a specialist bowler and more wickets. I almost felt sorry for him every time I saw him chasing after a ball; the fact that he was too old for all this was oozing out of every plod. Shahid Afridi clearly didn’t trust him with the bowl as amply demonstrated throughout the tournament and overly highlighted by the fact that a completely out of sorts Umar Gul was given the bowl when Razzaq had 8 overs left. The less said about the batting the better. I agree with Imran Khan here, cricket is a game of specialists. “Reloo-kattas” should be left for street cricket. It would be wonderful if we could produce an Imran Khan or a Wasim Akram again but until then let’s just stick to specialists. Afridi we can all now agree is a bowling all-rounder. He has talent in abundance as a batsman but no temperament and no technique. Someone in the post-match commentary summed him up as well.
“He wants to hit the ball too far and too hard”
If only he could play shots like the one he played against Yuvraj when he first came to the crease; a glorious and well-timed drive through the off side. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, he has been a wonderful bowler throughout the tournament and deserves his place in the team and had Misbah or Younis or Kamran Akmal caught Tendulkar of his bowling, maybe he could have taken us to the final as well but I guess it was not meant to be.
And that is the end of our batting. I do not see match winners in there, maybe you do. If I was in charge (speaking of wishes) I would have two proper openers, Hafeez might still be in contention because of his bowling and tendency of making 30’s, Asad Shafiq at one down and Umar Akmal at 2 down. Umar Akmal must be allowed greater time on the crease. Imagine what difference he might have made if he had come in place of Younis Khan and not when Pakistan needed more than run a ball to win the match in this semi-final. And then we must look for two young batsmen that we can groom for 5 and 6. We must either find a proper all-rounder or decide on match to match bases of playing a specialist bowler or batsman in place of Razzaq.
There is not much to say about Pakistan’s fielding. We just don’t learn. There are signs of improvement and with all three of the semi-final culprits on my hit list, I have hope. Kamran Akmal is and will NEVER be a keeper. He just doesn’t have the reflexes. There is no point in justifying it, we MUST search for a new keeper no matter how much he improves because a natural will always be a natural. And a smart/outrageous catch can often be the difference between winning and losing a match. There is this thing called anticipation. I saw in the match that whenever Misbah shuffled across the stumps to dab the ball to leg side for a single, Dhoni was half way there as soon as Misbah played the shot and this happened many times. It’s called ANTICIPATION. It is IMPORTANT for a keeper.
This brings me near the end of my rant/thoughts. So given what I have just dissected in front of you a respectable semi-final appearance is more than what we could have hoped for but having gotten so far, I believe we could have done better than what we did. If we had taken our catches and if Umar Gul had not decided to have a howler I might have been sitting here writing a different article or no article at all.
I am proud of what we have achieved given the circumstances but I am sad because true greatness was just within reach and we let it slip through our fingers. It is not a time to rejoice but it is certainly not a time for doom and gloom either. We must accept the fact that we were just not good enough. We must learn from our mistakes and move on. Pakistani cricket doesn’t have a history of doing that but maybe . . . just maybe this time would be different . . .
At the very beginning of the tournament, if you had told me that Pakistan would lose in the semi-final, I would have gladly taken that. By no stretch of logic or imagination were we among the tournament favorites. The bowling soul had been ripped out of our team. Any team that loses two bowlers of the class of Asif and Amir would struggle. The debate of their innocence is for another time. Just the fact that they were not able to play is being considered and that was a huge blow for Pakistan. In their absence we had an aging and crocked Shoaib Akhtar and a reluctant (to ball a new ball) Umar Gul. Other than that we had Wahab Riaz who despite his performance against India would not have made the team had either Amir or Asif been available.
We had good spinners in Shahid Afridi, Shoaib Ajmal and Abdul Rehman. Even Hafeez bowled well throughout. Our bowling was good but could have been awesome instead. Anyways the batting is where it all went wrong. I heard some commentator say this about Hafeez
“He is the most accomplished and classy 30 making batsmen I have ever seen.”
And that just sums up Mohammad Hafeez. I don’t know if its brain freeze or any other psychological problem but once past 30, he just loses the plot. The shot that he played today to get out was just atrocious. The fact that it was the widest ball Munaf Patel bowled in his whole spell, and Hafeez was trying to paddle/dabble/whatever sweep it is just astounding. Moving on, for five matches we tried Ahmad Shehzad and I have no problem with that. I have always felt that Pakistani selectors don’t give enough chances to batsmen. To cut a long story short he never really looked like doing something. He might become a wonderful batsman one day and maybe the world cup came too early for him but I doubt he would ever have the ability or class of say a Saeed Anwar. In all the years I have watched cricket, Saeed Anwar is the only decent opener I have seen. I am told there were some good ones before him but back then I was kicking it with “you know who” in the heavens.
But I digress; the fact of the matter is we do not possess a world class opener, hell if I am being honest we do not possess a world class batsman in our line up. Before you start baying for my blood please read further. Let’s go back to the openers. We promoted Kamran Akmal and let’s just say he was Ok because I am going to annihilate him later on when I discuss his keeping. One of the bright spots of the tournament has been the discovery of Asad Shafiq. There have been suggestions that we should use him as an opener. I have no opinion on that. That is something for the coaches to decide. I would say this much however that our first preference should be to search for a new opener who has played there his whole life rather than trying to fit players in there ala Kamran Akmal or Asad Shafique.
Let us now move on to the middle order. I am of the opinion that Younis Khan and Misbah-ul-Haq are good batsmen but they are not and will never be world class batsmen. They just do not possess the class or the range of strokes of a Ricky Ponting or an Inzimam-ul-Haq if you want a local example. We needed Younis Khan until we discovered Asad Shafiq but now he must be politely told to either stick to Test cricket or retire altogether. There is the argument that we need stability in the middle order but I might bash your head in if this is the kind of stability that is on offer. To those who are too thick. The stability on offer from Younis Khan is of the kind where you block 20 odd balls and then get out just when it was looking like you were settled.
And now ladies and gentlemen we turn our attention to Misbah-ul-Haq. To say that he lost us the semi-final single handedly would perhaps be too harsh but make no mistake about it he had a huge part to play in it. I don’t care if he scored 56 of 76 in the end or if it is said that his job was always to hold the innings together. At number five, as a specialist batsman you have got to do better. He brought so much pressure on the batsman on the other end that it was impossible to play with him. At least thrice I saw him turn down fairly obvious singles. Keep in mind I am talking about the start of his innings and not the end when he had Saeed Ajmal for company. Anyways he has been a good servant for Pakistan but again he is not a world class player. He just does not have the ability you would expect a number 5 to have. I don’t want to give examples again. You all get the point.
Then we have Umar Akmal. He has plenty of talent and all the qualities required to become a world class player but he is not yet there. Talent and the realization of it are two different matters. I have however a huge problem with him with regards to his behavior whenever Kamran Akmal is threatened to be dropped. Someone needs to sit him down and set his mind very straight and clear about this. He does not play for his elder brother, he plays for Pakistan and if Pakistan is going to achieve something Kamran is not going to be playing. Please wait a little longer for my Kamran Akmal rant.
Moving on to Razzaq and Afridi, now that the tournament is finished (for Pakistan) can someone explain to me why he was in the team? Yes he scored a half century and took some important wickets but it was very clear that Pakistan didn’t really need him. If we had played a specialist batsman in his place, we might have got more runs; a specialist bowler and more wickets. I almost felt sorry for him every time I saw him chasing after a ball; the fact that he was too old for all this was oozing out of every plod. Shahid Afridi clearly didn’t trust him with the bowl as amply demonstrated throughout the tournament and overly highlighted by the fact that a completely out of sorts Umar Gul was given the bowl when Razzaq had 8 overs left. The less said about the batting the better. I agree with Imran Khan here, cricket is a game of specialists. “Reloo-kattas” should be left for street cricket. It would be wonderful if we could produce an Imran Khan or a Wasim Akram again but until then let’s just stick to specialists. Afridi we can all now agree is a bowling all-rounder. He has talent in abundance as a batsman but no temperament and no technique. Someone in the post-match commentary summed him up as well.
“He wants to hit the ball too far and too hard”
If only he could play shots like the one he played against Yuvraj when he first came to the crease; a glorious and well-timed drive through the off side. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, he has been a wonderful bowler throughout the tournament and deserves his place in the team and had Misbah or Younis or Kamran Akmal caught Tendulkar of his bowling, maybe he could have taken us to the final as well but I guess it was not meant to be.
And that is the end of our batting. I do not see match winners in there, maybe you do. If I was in charge (speaking of wishes) I would have two proper openers, Hafeez might still be in contention because of his bowling and tendency of making 30’s, Asad Shafiq at one down and Umar Akmal at 2 down. Umar Akmal must be allowed greater time on the crease. Imagine what difference he might have made if he had come in place of Younis Khan and not when Pakistan needed more than run a ball to win the match in this semi-final. And then we must look for two young batsmen that we can groom for 5 and 6. We must either find a proper all-rounder or decide on match to match bases of playing a specialist bowler or batsman in place of Razzaq.
There is not much to say about Pakistan’s fielding. We just don’t learn. There are signs of improvement and with all three of the semi-final culprits on my hit list, I have hope. Kamran Akmal is and will NEVER be a keeper. He just doesn’t have the reflexes. There is no point in justifying it, we MUST search for a new keeper no matter how much he improves because a natural will always be a natural. And a smart/outrageous catch can often be the difference between winning and losing a match. There is this thing called anticipation. I saw in the match that whenever Misbah shuffled across the stumps to dab the ball to leg side for a single, Dhoni was half way there as soon as Misbah played the shot and this happened many times. It’s called ANTICIPATION. It is IMPORTANT for a keeper.
This brings me near the end of my rant/thoughts. So given what I have just dissected in front of you a respectable semi-final appearance is more than what we could have hoped for but having gotten so far, I believe we could have done better than what we did. If we had taken our catches and if Umar Gul had not decided to have a howler I might have been sitting here writing a different article or no article at all.
I am proud of what we have achieved given the circumstances but I am sad because true greatness was just within reach and we let it slip through our fingers. It is not a time to rejoice but it is certainly not a time for doom and gloom either. We must accept the fact that we were just not good enough. We must learn from our mistakes and move on. Pakistani cricket doesn’t have a history of doing that but maybe . . . just maybe this time would be different . . .
Friday, March 4, 2011
Revolving Doors
Revolving doors ladies and gentlemen
Revolving doors through which
People walk
Dreams fade
And wishes fly away
Revolving doors that remind
Of opportunities lost
People that are missed
Nothing is going to stay
Revolving doors that are testament
To fickle things
Broken promises
And structures made of clay
Revolving doors that
Bring people back
Dreams anew
And happiness along the way
Revolving doors that wait
For you
For me
“For everyone must go”, they say
Revolving doors through which
People walk
Dreams fade
And wishes fly away
Revolving doors that remind
Of opportunities lost
People that are missed
Nothing is going to stay
Revolving doors that are testament
To fickle things
Broken promises
And structures made of clay
Revolving doors that
Bring people back
Dreams anew
And happiness along the way
Revolving doors that wait
For you
For me
“For everyone must go”, they say
Monday, November 22, 2010
The grey stuff
This piece of writing is inspired by Basim Qureshi so a big shout-out to him. I sound like a radio host.
Some people have their life so brilliantly figured out. I envy them but they baffle me as well because the level of surety and clarity that I would require to figure it all out just seems absurd. I am not saying it’s not possible, just that for some it’s nigh impossible. My parents ask me what I want to do with my life and I just go blank.
To be honest all my life I have just made the best out of the circumstances I find myself in but I have never made a conscious effort to create or bend them to my liking. And after 23 years that is the only way I know how to tackle life. I fit, I adapt, I compromise and I stay happy through most of it.
I am sure; in fact I am positive that there is a philosophy out there that says that this is the ultimately crappy way of living your life. Let’s see…if you want something, go and get it. In life you should be proactive and not reactive. Take control of your life…blah blah blah. The thing is I don’t particularly want something. I am satisfied with things the way they are. Again I remember hearing or reading somewhere that the moment you are satisfied is when your life is over. What a load of crap! If you are going to keep running all your life with no destination in mind, you might as well buy a treadmill…I know the joke doesn’t quite fit the mood; I just couldn’t resist.
My point is that not everyone wants to change or rule the world. I know I don’t. Let me make a distinction here – I love to make a difference, I just don’t live to make a difference; if I can – good; if I can’t – so be it. I don’t lose sleep over what I couldn’t do and I hate people who just plaster all their goodwill on their forehead. This writing is taking a weird direction. Bear with me…
Appeasing society is all we ever do now. We love to follow someone or something. People love to be the outcasts because it’s in fashion. You want to belong to a certain group because they are classified as intelligent and brilliant. My point is that even if you are in a minority – you are following someone. Again, I am not against following a doctrine or a philosophy – just make sure it’s for the right reasons. Thinking someone else was great and following a philosophy because that someone did so is not reason enough in my dictionary. If that philosophy appeals to you despite everyone and everything associated to it – then these are grounds to follow it.
This discussion is getting weird even for me. Wrapping it all up, success is relative. Happiness is even more so. Make sure you are not just subscribing to a dictionary definition of everything. Explore, fall, falter and find your path. Maybe wandering is all you were ever capable off. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. People talk based on their experience. Their experiences might have been similar but they can never be the same.
Like I told Basim – if I am going to get blamed for all my life’s choices in the end – I would be damned if I let anyone else make them for me.
Some people have their life so brilliantly figured out. I envy them but they baffle me as well because the level of surety and clarity that I would require to figure it all out just seems absurd. I am not saying it’s not possible, just that for some it’s nigh impossible. My parents ask me what I want to do with my life and I just go blank.
To be honest all my life I have just made the best out of the circumstances I find myself in but I have never made a conscious effort to create or bend them to my liking. And after 23 years that is the only way I know how to tackle life. I fit, I adapt, I compromise and I stay happy through most of it.
I am sure; in fact I am positive that there is a philosophy out there that says that this is the ultimately crappy way of living your life. Let’s see…if you want something, go and get it. In life you should be proactive and not reactive. Take control of your life…blah blah blah. The thing is I don’t particularly want something. I am satisfied with things the way they are. Again I remember hearing or reading somewhere that the moment you are satisfied is when your life is over. What a load of crap! If you are going to keep running all your life with no destination in mind, you might as well buy a treadmill…I know the joke doesn’t quite fit the mood; I just couldn’t resist.
My point is that not everyone wants to change or rule the world. I know I don’t. Let me make a distinction here – I love to make a difference, I just don’t live to make a difference; if I can – good; if I can’t – so be it. I don’t lose sleep over what I couldn’t do and I hate people who just plaster all their goodwill on their forehead. This writing is taking a weird direction. Bear with me…
Appeasing society is all we ever do now. We love to follow someone or something. People love to be the outcasts because it’s in fashion. You want to belong to a certain group because they are classified as intelligent and brilliant. My point is that even if you are in a minority – you are following someone. Again, I am not against following a doctrine or a philosophy – just make sure it’s for the right reasons. Thinking someone else was great and following a philosophy because that someone did so is not reason enough in my dictionary. If that philosophy appeals to you despite everyone and everything associated to it – then these are grounds to follow it.
This discussion is getting weird even for me. Wrapping it all up, success is relative. Happiness is even more so. Make sure you are not just subscribing to a dictionary definition of everything. Explore, fall, falter and find your path. Maybe wandering is all you were ever capable off. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. People talk based on their experience. Their experiences might have been similar but they can never be the same.
Like I told Basim – if I am going to get blamed for all my life’s choices in the end – I would be damned if I let anyone else make them for me.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Shalwar Kameez, Teaching, The new generation and other things...
If you follow my blog (shame on you if you do) then you might find an article where I discuss my inspirations for writing and how the choice boils down to writing about yourself or hurting others. I am not saying that those are the only choices but for me they seem to be. So this is about me (you are allowed to not read any further).
When I started looking for a job after my graduation, my very first interview was at Mobilink IT. I was quite excited and scared. The interview went OK until I was told
“You do know that your get up is not really conducive to working here.” The interviewer said pointing to the whole of me.
I was wearing a skin tight red t-shirt which read – “I know I am hot” – over orange shorts. A black ‘peshawari-chappal’ was on my feet and a gold chain with a big ‘A’ around my neck. I had a silver bracelet on my left wrist and a huge shiny ring on my right hand. I had highlights in my hair and I think there was some make up involved as well.
I know what you are thinking – why did the interview take place in the first place. Unfortunately, the last paragraph describes how I would have liked to dress given what I was told. Actually I was wearing a white shalwar kameez with a black sweater and black shoes. If dressing was going to be the problem I would have worn all that and maybe a tie on top of my t-shirt. Anyways it turns out Mobilink has a policy against shalwar kameez. You can’t even wear it on Fridays.
It was a fun experience though. I am mildly religious and yes it’s sometimes an adjustment but to not get a job because I choose to wear a shalwar kameez is sad. Don’t get me wrong, I am not Einstein. Maybe my interview didn’t go so well technically either but that one sentence I could have done without. We love our arguments and our theories and whatnot but little things; the simple things they don’t really matter. All our efforts are driven by a need for personal grandstanding. I have heard my fair share of arguments against growing a beard and wearing a shalwar kameez but this definitely took the cake…I salute you Mobilink. “kal ke liye aaj badlo” just make sure you are not wearing a shalwar kameez while you do so.
Disclaimer – To all my friends who work at Mobilink – I still love you and if someday Mobilink does get over its shalwar kameez complex and starts hiring ‘real’ telecommunication engineers then I would come running.
On a more serious note (what is a serious note anyways) after the Mobilink debacle I was offered a teaching post at my Alma-mater. No not FAST. I did not wish to subject new students to the torture that I had undergone myself. I have this brilliant habit of not really planning ahead and not thinking much at all so I gladly started teaching at SISA (O and A Levels) unaware that it doesn’t really count as ‘technical experience’. Oh boy was that an ego trip; I still have a plan of about two months but here was a whole generation that had no idea where they were heading two days into the future. I felt pretty awesome about myself. I was not alone at all in fact I was way ahead of the curve (Dark Knight reference) – two months. Surrounded by such awesomeness and attractiveness (by the way that was a reference from Kung Fu Panda) I quickly settled in. I just like dropping names – of movies.
It turns out that we as a society don’t really respect teaching as a profession. On more occasions than I care to remember I had very weird encounters with my parents involved. We would be somewhere and someone would ask me
“So what do you do?”
“He is a telecommunication engineer and he has applied for masters abroad and while he is waiting he has taken up teaching as a hobby.”
A response to this effect would be delivered by my mom or dad or they would tag team it between them before I had even began to open my mouth. ‘A hobby’ – I mean come on. I guess people who are not good at anything else end up teaching and since we don’t encourage anything to the contrary that’s how it’s supposed to be. Different family members also inquired at various times when I was going to get a real job. Granted that given my circumstances teaching was not the best option for me but apart from a few choice people every one who discouraged me was pin pointing teaching and not me in particular. The icing on the cake was delivered by a senior teacher at SISA. We were having a heart to heart when he came up with this gem
“When are you leaving; go do something with your life. Live a little; teaching is for washed up people like me – why are you getting stuck here?”
Anyways, due to huge public demand, I finally left teaching and started looking for a real-technical-labor-intensive-job. And I am looking to this day – 1 month and counting.
Q: Did I get through to my students?
A: umm…maybe two of them. No – make that one.
Q: Am I bitter?
A: Yes.
Q: Does it have to do with the fact that I haven’t found a job yet?
A: Definitely.
Q: Does that change the facts?
A: Unfortunately no.
Q: Will this piece of writing bring down Mobilink?
A: Yeah right.
Q: Will it inspire a new generation into action?
A: Are you high or on drugs or something. Chill dude!
Q: Will we see teachers in a different light?
A: Are you kidding me – even I don’t like teachers.
Q: Do I stand firm on my beliefs?
A: What do you think? Sucker!
Q: Is this piece of writing useless?
A: Pretty much.
Q: Then why did I write it?
A: “And therein – as the bard would tell us – lies the rub”. Oh another movie reference. This one is from Inside Man. Am I dope or what?
Q: Could we get an honest answer here please?
A: Personal grandstanding – personal grandstanding my friend!
When I started looking for a job after my graduation, my very first interview was at Mobilink IT. I was quite excited and scared. The interview went OK until I was told
“You do know that your get up is not really conducive to working here.” The interviewer said pointing to the whole of me.
I was wearing a skin tight red t-shirt which read – “I know I am hot” – over orange shorts. A black ‘peshawari-chappal’ was on my feet and a gold chain with a big ‘A’ around my neck. I had a silver bracelet on my left wrist and a huge shiny ring on my right hand. I had highlights in my hair and I think there was some make up involved as well.
I know what you are thinking – why did the interview take place in the first place. Unfortunately, the last paragraph describes how I would have liked to dress given what I was told. Actually I was wearing a white shalwar kameez with a black sweater and black shoes. If dressing was going to be the problem I would have worn all that and maybe a tie on top of my t-shirt. Anyways it turns out Mobilink has a policy against shalwar kameez. You can’t even wear it on Fridays.
It was a fun experience though. I am mildly religious and yes it’s sometimes an adjustment but to not get a job because I choose to wear a shalwar kameez is sad. Don’t get me wrong, I am not Einstein. Maybe my interview didn’t go so well technically either but that one sentence I could have done without. We love our arguments and our theories and whatnot but little things; the simple things they don’t really matter. All our efforts are driven by a need for personal grandstanding. I have heard my fair share of arguments against growing a beard and wearing a shalwar kameez but this definitely took the cake…I salute you Mobilink. “kal ke liye aaj badlo” just make sure you are not wearing a shalwar kameez while you do so.
Disclaimer – To all my friends who work at Mobilink – I still love you and if someday Mobilink does get over its shalwar kameez complex and starts hiring ‘real’ telecommunication engineers then I would come running.
On a more serious note (what is a serious note anyways) after the Mobilink debacle I was offered a teaching post at my Alma-mater. No not FAST. I did not wish to subject new students to the torture that I had undergone myself. I have this brilliant habit of not really planning ahead and not thinking much at all so I gladly started teaching at SISA (O and A Levels) unaware that it doesn’t really count as ‘technical experience’. Oh boy was that an ego trip; I still have a plan of about two months but here was a whole generation that had no idea where they were heading two days into the future. I felt pretty awesome about myself. I was not alone at all in fact I was way ahead of the curve (Dark Knight reference) – two months. Surrounded by such awesomeness and attractiveness (by the way that was a reference from Kung Fu Panda) I quickly settled in. I just like dropping names – of movies.
It turns out that we as a society don’t really respect teaching as a profession. On more occasions than I care to remember I had very weird encounters with my parents involved. We would be somewhere and someone would ask me
“So what do you do?”
“He is a telecommunication engineer and he has applied for masters abroad and while he is waiting he has taken up teaching as a hobby.”
A response to this effect would be delivered by my mom or dad or they would tag team it between them before I had even began to open my mouth. ‘A hobby’ – I mean come on. I guess people who are not good at anything else end up teaching and since we don’t encourage anything to the contrary that’s how it’s supposed to be. Different family members also inquired at various times when I was going to get a real job. Granted that given my circumstances teaching was not the best option for me but apart from a few choice people every one who discouraged me was pin pointing teaching and not me in particular. The icing on the cake was delivered by a senior teacher at SISA. We were having a heart to heart when he came up with this gem
“When are you leaving; go do something with your life. Live a little; teaching is for washed up people like me – why are you getting stuck here?”
Anyways, due to huge public demand, I finally left teaching and started looking for a real-technical-labor-intensive-job. And I am looking to this day – 1 month and counting.
Q: Did I get through to my students?
A: umm…maybe two of them. No – make that one.
Q: Am I bitter?
A: Yes.
Q: Does it have to do with the fact that I haven’t found a job yet?
A: Definitely.
Q: Does that change the facts?
A: Unfortunately no.
Q: Will this piece of writing bring down Mobilink?
A: Yeah right.
Q: Will it inspire a new generation into action?
A: Are you high or on drugs or something. Chill dude!
Q: Will we see teachers in a different light?
A: Are you kidding me – even I don’t like teachers.
Q: Do I stand firm on my beliefs?
A: What do you think? Sucker!
Q: Is this piece of writing useless?
A: Pretty much.
Q: Then why did I write it?
A: “And therein – as the bard would tell us – lies the rub”. Oh another movie reference. This one is from Inside Man. Am I dope or what?
Q: Could we get an honest answer here please?
A: Personal grandstanding – personal grandstanding my friend!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
INSPIRED
To be able to hear
the music in the wind
To be amazed
by a thought within
To see colors
in the darkness
To find meaning
in obtuseness
To soar
in the skies
To dream
without closing my eyes
To jump
and never fall
To stop
but never stall
To plan
to do everything
And yet be
amazed by nothing
To be not afraid
of a stumble or fall
To be prepared
to lose it all
To conquer the world
and not get tired
To feel all this
and be inspired!
the music in the wind
To be amazed
by a thought within
To see colors
in the darkness
To find meaning
in obtuseness
To soar
in the skies
To dream
without closing my eyes
To jump
and never fall
To stop
but never stall
To plan
to do everything
And yet be
amazed by nothing
To be not afraid
of a stumble or fall
To be prepared
to lose it all
To conquer the world
and not get tired
To feel all this
and be inspired!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
My Blonde Moment
The story starts in a dimly lit and eerily quite class room. Dr. S.M. Sajid is trying to explain the Raman Amplifier and YES I do know what that is. It’s a….a….a…never mind! Across the class room, at the very back, I am dozing off…not as usual. Honestly, this is one class I try to pay attention in. But due to a plethora of reasons, foremost among them my hangover from an Aneeque Hassan Special Jhugat session from the previous night I am dozing off. Suddenly, Dr. S.M. Sajid is pointing in my general direction. I try to concentrate on the “doodle” on my copy but to no avail. “Not You!” he says to some over eager student. I belatedly look up casting a sheepish glance in his direction. “Haan Ji aap batain.” I have absolutely no idea what he is asking, so I try to look deep in thought while scanning the slide on display feverishly to get an idea as to what I am supposed to answer. All the while Dr. S.M. Sajid is advancing in my direction meancingly. He repeats the question, I am still clueless. Someone tries to answer, I relax for a split second…but… “Nobody answer! Let him answer!” He effortlessly destroys my faint ray of hope. He is still advancing and I am getting more confused by the minute. Darn, why did I have to sit alone today! Usually Mudi is pretty helpful with these pesky little questions! I think to myself. Dr. S.M. Sajid is 5 feet away from me know. I am trying to hold my own gamely. “Sir mein slide dekh loon!” He moves a little to the right so that I can see the slide but guess what, I am looking for Mudi or Aneeque or anyone to mouth the answer while Dr. S.M. Sajid trains his laser beam of a glare on me. Mudi is looking at me with his famous yet extremely unhelpful “pained” face. I want to scream; Can’t you see I am having a blonde moment here. Just mouth the answer and stop staring at me. But its too late. Dr. S.M. Sajid has arrived. He blocks my access to the world and as if not happy by that victory proceeds to decimate me with these words “This is a pretty simple question.” By now I know all is lost but I have figured out some part of the problem. I am supposed to choose between two numbers. How? That part is still a little sketchy. Dr. S.M. Sajid keeps staring at me. I mumble something that I had just read on the slide. “That’s not the question!” he bellows and proceeds to repeat the question. The humiliation seems to be descending on me in waves but I have to smile despite myself. Mudi is still looking at me with that doleful expression. I can feel the rest of the class focussing on me as well. Just mouth the damn answer you moron, I want to scream at Mudi before I proceed to strangle him! Alas that remains a fantasy and the reality is becoming grimmer by the moment. Dr. Sajid has graciously given me a few feet of space to breathe in and is saying something to the class; most probably about my brillaince but I am too busy looking at the screen and doing “inni minni maina mo…” between the two numbers. You see there is a 50% chance that I might get it right. Though most of the damage has been done I could stop this from turning into Total Annihilation. “25” I say. Bad…very bad…very very bad…baddest descision. Turns out “inni minni maina mo…” is not the best way to do maths after all. Dr. Sajid proceeds to rip to shreds any last vestiges of dignity that I was clinging on to. Now that its over one way or the other I look at the board and suddenly the world is right again. Everything makes perfect sense. I figure out he was asking me if -25 was bigger or -10. You already know my answer. I want to jump out the inviting window but somehow I manage to smile again. How did I get it wrong? Well as they say “I had a blonde moment.”
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