100 miles an hour

100 miles an hour, you are speeding along a road. The road goes nowhere; in fact it ends at the edge of a cliff. You compose yourself, adjust your foot on the pedal and continue. It’s not that you don’t know what’s about to come. You are as sure about the cliff as you are about day following night. It’s not a suicide attempt either. It’s just life and although it might seem that you are in control, you are not. It’s your car and it’s your foot on the pedal but that is just an illusion.

You have to fall; you need to fall because you need to move forward. There was a time when you had choices and other roads to travel but now there is just this one road; a road that ends at the precipice of a cliff. You look in the back view mirror but just to adjust your muffler. There is no point looking back now – it’s weirdly bland. You roll down the window to be greeted by the cold icy blast of the winter wind. You see your breath precipitating around you, for a split moment you forget everything. The car lurches, you hold the wheel tightly, role up the window and floor the pedal. Any minute now – there will be the familiar sinking feeling of falling freely . . .

You close your eyes as you navigate the last turn and the edge becomes visible on the horizon. You remember the first time you went cliff diving. It’s a very similar feeling – you have decided to jump but there is still that last bit of hesitancy so you close your eyes and leap. People stare at you in awe and despair, inspired by your courage but worried about your safety. There is no crowd here; it’s an empty road in the middle of nowhere. It’s just you and the car and a gaping chasm in front of you.

You feel your heart sink, you gulp and then it stops; it’s all over. You adjust your eyes to the light – it a beautiful spring with flowers everywhere. You count your body parts. You are free. There are choices and paths in front of you. You don’t even remember to look behind as you pick a path and start ambling.

So why the jump? Because you reach a point in life when the only way forward is to crash and burn. Sure the jump might not work out that well all the time but there is nothing else to do. Maybe better choices would have led you elsewhere but once you are here and there is no going back then the smart thing to do is compose yourself, adjust your muffler, navigate the last turn, close your eyes and floor the pedal . . .